My Last Mission
by Coffee Lover
Summary: Excel uses her hyper nature as a cover for her real depression. She can no longer bring herself work for ACROSS when Lord Ilpalazzo is there, and she has decided to quit. Can Lord Ilpalazzo fix her problem, even if he is the problem?
1. Things Are Not Always What They Seem

My Last Mission

Chapter One: Breaking the News

The sun was shining, and a cool breeze rustled the trees. Birds were chirping, and kids were laughing. Usually you could find Excel on days like this, skipping down the side walk, and knocking people around as she wailed her arms around wildly. But, not today. Excel had herself locked in her room. Hyatt would have questioned her odd behavior, but she was currently lying dead on the couch.

Excel had a secret.. One that nobody who knew her would believe. Her secret was that she was not happy. She, the one who was always smiling, was not happy at all. For the past several months her "Happiness" was just a mask, used to hide her current depression.

Excel lay quietly on her futon, silent tears running down her face She couldn't take it anymore. Everyday she went to ACROSS hoping that when she expressed her love for her Lord Ilpalazzo, that he would return it. Every time he would reject her, and send her falling down into a pt of water, and every time she fell her heart would break a little. But she would get up, and return the next day, and again be rejected.

Her heart was now do broken, she believed that it was beyond repair.. How she wished Lord Ilpalazzo would praise her as he did Hyatt.

A rustle came from behind her door, and the sound of the door trying to be forced open awoke her from her daze. The intruder gave up hope, as the door was locked and softly knocked on the door.

"Excel?" Hyatt's concerned voice rang through the closed door. "It's time for us to go receive our new Mission."

_Speak of the devil, _Excel though. "Coming Hatt-Chan," Excel chirped, in what she hoped was a happy sounding voice.

Walking out from the confinement of her room, she slipped her boots on and began to venture out. Hyatt's voice made her stop.

"Um, Senior?"

"Yes, Hatt-Chan?"

"Aren't you going to put on your uniform?"

Excel looked at what she was wearing, Jeans and a tank. Not the usual jacket with overly large Shoulder pads.

Excel shrugged, "No, I don't feel like changing." She walked out the door, and Hyatt followed behind.

The great Lord Ilpalazzo sat upon his throne in his underground base. Musing over the next assignment, as he waited for the arrival of his two agents.

Footsteps down the hall echoed into his base, signaling that their arrival was close. Excel trudged in and Hyatt followed. Hyatt gave her normal 'Zo!' but what struck him as strange was so did excel. He waited for a few moments, for Excel would usually have an outburst of song or drable on about some random thing. Nothing. He was about to go on, when he noticed his Senior agents attire.

"Agent Excel, tell me. Why are you not in uniform? I will not have my agents wearing the clothing of the ignorant masses." but all he got in reply was a shrug.

Taken aback by her response, or lack of, he decided it would be best to move on with the meeting. He cleared his throat and continued on.

"It has come to my attention that our missions have all been failures. In the past I had blamed it on you, my agents, but it has come to my attention that our failures are the result of sabotage. Your Mission, Agents Hyatt and Excel, is to infiltrate the Civil Service and Pose as Civil Servant officers. I want you to stop the source that has been sabotaging ACROSS's efforts in taking over the city," he said.

With a short 'Hail Ilpalazzo!' they left. Excel, however, stayed behind. She turned around and waited for Lord Ilpalazzo to notice her.

"Yes, Excel?" He said, uncertain as to why she was still here.

"Lord Ilpalazzo, I have an issue I need to discuss with you, sir."

Again, Ilpalazzo was shocked by her behavior. She was sounding serious, in an almost business tone of voice. Any moment now, he would wake up from this dream.

"Ok, but make it quick. You try my patience." He drawled, trying to sound as if he had better things to do. Really, he didn't.

"Don't worry, you wont have to put up with me for long, sir." She had a sort of sad smile as she said this.

Walking around to a closer spot near his throne, she stood in front of him. Tall and proud. She wouldn't let this man break her heart anymore.

"Lord Ilpalazzo, I have come to inform you that this will be my last Mission." All she got in reply was silence, so she continued. "I-I just can't deal with..the emotional Stress anymore. I can't, so I must leave." More Silence.

Excel was now avoiding his gaze, and she bowed her head. Her hair covered her face, and she felt tears in her eyes, trying to burst out.

Ilpalazzo was speechless for the third time today. "What has caused you stress?"

"It doesn't matter-" she tried to assure him, but he cut her off.

"It does matter, I can try to fix it."

"Lord Ilpalazzo, you cannot fix this problem." She was getting frustrated. He never wanted to help her before.

"Try me."

THE PROBLEM IS YOU!" She yelled, her emotions making her scream out her secret. Excel gasped and covered her mouth.

Silence.

"I have to go now." Excel turned and quickly ran out, tears falling don her face, and yet her face held a smile. _I can move on now, and finally be happy._

Well, how was it? I had wanted this to be a one shot, but then I thought it would be better as a chapter fic. I had always wondered how Excel would act if she was depressed, or even normal, and how it would up her chances of love with our dear Lord Ilpalazzo.

I am going to let you know right now, I don't update much. I either get sidetracked, or I'm just to busy to update. I wrote this fic in January, and I'm just now posting it. But I promise that eventually, maybe after this term is over, I will update.

Don't forget to review!

Eva Alexander, the former Coffee Lover.


	2. Expect the Unexpected

**My Last Mission**

Chapter Two: Expect the Unexpected

The dripping of water echoed through HQ, and the busy streets let off an annoying hum. Lord Ilpalazzo at in his throne, in a sort of daze. His mind going over what had just happened minutes ago. His most Loyal agent, Excel;, had told him that she wished to quite and that this would be her last mission. To surprise him further, she had also told him that she was the reason that she was leaving.

What could he have possibly done that made her want to quit? As he thought further, he wondered why he was bothering to worry about her. She had ruined a countless number of missions, and was always a source of annoyance to him. But for some odd reason, he did care, and he wanted to know what he could to do fix this problem.

Excel was his first agent, she had always been there for him since the very beginning of ACROSS, and she was always brightly smiling after the end of every mission,even though they were all mostly failures. And now, he couldn't even think of what ACROSS would be like without her there.

Lord Ilpalazzo sighed, and put his head in his hands. He never had to think this much about anything, and it was starting to give him a headache. He quickly got up from his chair, began to walk briskly out the hall. Cursing Excel for making him do what he was about to do.

- - -

Excel quietly followed behind Hyatt, her mind drifting off every once and a while. She hardly noticed that Hyatt had stopped, until she ran right into her. Excel fell to the ground with a painful sounding thud.

"Senior, are you okay?" Hyatt held out her hand to help Excel up.

All Excel could do was moan and take Hyatt's outstretched hand. Once she was back on her feet, she rubbed her butt attempting to make the pain go away.

"Senior?"

Excel turned to look at Hyatt. She had a worried look on her face. "Yes, Ha-Chan?"

"What did you say to Lord Ilpalazzo?"

_Here I go again_, thought Excel. My Grammy winning performance. "Nothing, Ha-Chan. Excel just wanted a word with Lord Ilpalazzo." Excel replied as cheerfully as possible, with a fake smile painfully plastered to her face. Any normal person would be able to tell that the smile was fake, but Excel wasn't sure the alien princess knew the difference between a fake and real smile.

Hyatt nodded, and continued walking.

Excel really didn't want to have to explain her heart break to Hyatt. She wouldn't understand, anyway. Though, she had to admit that her heart did feel lighter after her little slip with Ilpalazzo. It felt light enough that she might even skip, and make Hyatt believe that there was nothing wrong with her.

Several blocks later, Excel was relieved to find that they had arrived at the Civil Service department. Her feet were tired from skipping all the way. Excel and Hyatt had been here before. Excel was trying to do something with a computer, and Hyatt sold a weird drink. It hadn't been a very good mission, because it had failed. She hoped that this one turned out better than the other missions.

The two agents walked up to the front desk. A rather plump looking man looked at them, but his eyes did gaze at there faces, but rather below them. Excel cleared her throat and the man looked up. "Were here to get a job."

The man looked through some papers. "Are you Excel and Hyatt?"

"Um, yes. Why?"

"We've been expexting you. Follow me, I'll show you to your office."

Excel was slightly surprised at how easy that was, and wondered how the perverted man had gotten their names. Oh well, as long as they got the jobs and finished the mission. The sooner they finished the mission, the sooner Excel could move on with her life.

The were shuffled down many halls, and finally the man told them that their team leader was inside the room. Hyatt was the first to go in, and excel followed. The room was dark, probably because the lights were out. They could see the outline of a man standing by the window. He was rather tall, and had long greyish hair.

"Sir, the new recruits are here."

"Thankyou, Miwako. That will be all." The man's deep baritone voice drawled out.

Miwako bowed and left, leaving the two girls in the room with their team leader. Excel walked forward and gasped at what she saw.

"Lord Ilpalazzo?"

- - - - - -

Sorry it took so long to update, but I did warn you that it would take some time. I would have had it up sooner, but my WordPerfect hates me and won't open. Since it was my only word processing program, I had to go and download this free word processing program from If your WP program hates you, I recommend that you download OpenOffice.

So, since I've gotten more reviews that I expected, I shall take this time to thank you all.

**Grinning Cat:** Yea, I noticed the lack of updates in the excel fanfics. Maybe I should break that habit and update? But I wouldn't want to break a tradition.

**angelgirlmia:** Thanks.

**Syuura:** Tearjerking? I guess I never thought it would be. But I guess it's because I am the author, so I don't feel the same emotions as a reader.

**MystikTears:** Thanks alot D

**Logos:** Good for you. Watch all the Excel that you can possibly buy. And don't forget Puni Puni Poemi.

**mdfang:** Thanks, I hope the next chapter live up to the first one.

Many question marks, and I shall do more. It just might..take me a while.

**ChesButler:** Muhahahaha. World Domination.

**Ryuueiki:** I'm updating, or atleast trying to update.

**mdizzle:** Yes, she is deffinently on a permanent high. But in my world, I like to throw in a little drama and angst to stir things up. I am the puppet master, so I can do that. D

**Sheya Nera: **I don't remember making Excel suicidal. She's a little sad, yes, but I don't believe she will be killing herself. Atleast, not in this fic. But rememeber the episode where she was actually depressed? My author visions feed off of that episode to create this fic. See, I understand that Excel is always hyper. But my thoughts were, how much rejection could Excel take? So, viola. Thanks for the review, I will promise to keep this away from suicide, wrist sliting, etc. ;D


	3. Chapter 3

A rather large space ship glided through the air, just above the earth. It had no destination, for it had already taken what it needed. Inside the said space ship were strange, yet extremely cute creatures. Though they looked like plushie toys, they were far from it.

The creatures, known as Puu-Chuus, were gathering by the minutes, marching and chanting around a wooden post. Tied to the wooden post was none other than Coffee Lover.

Coffee Lover hung her head and laughed nervously. "Well, it seems like I am in a very bad position." She was talking to thin air, but the puu-chuu's didn't seem to notice.

"Puu Chuu Puu Chuu" They marched faster around the wooden post.

"Heh, I guess this means that I won't be able to update my fanfic now." The authoress said, again talking to no one in particular. "I could easily escape, really I could, but--"

"_Puu Chuu_?" A Puu Chuu walked right up to her and looked at her.

"--But, They are so **cyuuuuuuute**!" She squealed and threw her head back, not knowing how long it would take her to get out of this situation.

33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

My lame excuse for not updating. I call it the Comic relief Puu Chuu! So, basically, I have writers block. DAMN! But, I've been tossing a few ideas around for the next chapter, and none seem to work. I know exactly how I want this story to turn out, but I just can't put it together at the moment.

Keep on feeding me reviews, who knows, maybe it will help the writers block.


	4. In Which Excel is Angry

**Disclaimer:** Excel Saga, sadly, does not belong to me. It belongs to the great Koshi Rikudo. Please don't sue me, because I have nothing you want.

Chapter Four: In which Excel is Angry

Excel was confused, shocked, and angry all at the same time.

Lord Ilpalazzo looked at her as if he didn't know her. "Please, call me Lee. It would look rather strange if you were to keep calling me Lord Ilpalazzo."

"Lord- I mean, Lee. Um.. Lee...what are you doing here?"

"I am here because I will be assisting you with this mission."

Excel growled, "We don't—" she was about to say 'We don't need your help!' but then she realized that they had never actually succeeded in completing a mission. Maybe help wouldn't be such a bad idea. It would be better to leave ACROSS with a successful mission.

Lord Ilpalazzo smirked, "Is that all? If you're done interrogating me, then we need to get to work. Follow me."

A cheerful Hyatt and a reluctant Excel followed behind Lord Ilpalazzo as he guided them down more confusing hallways. Excel was angry, as expected. She had just told the man that he was the reason for her problems, and all she wanted to do was get away from him, and what did he do? He went and joined the mission, making it impossible for her to be anywhere but near him.

_Men_, she snorted. _I'll never understand them._

Lord Ilpalazzo eventually lead them into a deserted room at the end of the hallway. "This," He explained," Will be your office for the time being."

Excel was about to comment on the lack of, well, everything in the office, when the door flew open and a man with weird looking hair flew in.

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't know anyone was in here." said Kabapu.

"Not at all, I was just showing the new recruits to their office."

"Ah," Kabapu nodded. Kabapu looked strangely up at Lord Ilpalazzo, examining him. "You look familiar. Might I know you from somewhere?"

Lord Ilpalazzo tenses ever so slightly at his question. "No, I don't think so. My name is Le, I am the new manager."

Kabapu laughed. "Ah, of course. I must be getting senile in my old age." He smiled and began to leave, "It was nice meeting you all, I suppose I will be seeing you later at the meeting." and with that, he left.

Lord Ilpalazzo let out a sigh of relief when Kabapu left.

"Who was that?" Excel questioned.

"Kabapu, the man who is behind out failed missions."

"But, how do you—"

"We'll talk later, Excel. At the moment, you two need to get down to the meeting. It wouldn't be wise to be late on your first day.

- - -

Excel cursed under her breath. It would have been great if Lord Ilpalazzo had actually told them WHERE the meeting was being held. She and Hyatt had been wondering around aimlessly for the past ten minutes, trying to find the said meeting.

"Hatt-Chan, I think we are lost."

"I agree, Senior. Maybe we should—"

"Miss Ayasugi?" Watanabe had been running late to the weekly meeting, again. He was running down the hallways as fast as he could, when he was stopped by the sight of his Miss Ayasugi.

Hyatt turned around and smiled warmly at him, "Ah, Mr. Watanabe. What are you doing here?"

"I..uh..I-"

"Yes?"

"Er, I mean..I work here."

"Oh, I had no idea. Watanabe, would you be kind enough to show me and my friend here to the meeting?" Hyatt questioned.

Watanabe blushed, "Sure thing Miss Ayasugi!" All Watanabe did was turn to the door on his left and opened it. "Here we are!" he stated.

Excel smacked her hand to her forehead. Of course it was the one door that she hadn't checked.

As the door opened, all of the occupants of the room turned to look at them. Everyone was seated around a lard round table. Excel could see Lord Ilpalazzo sitting beside Mr. Kabapu, and she briefly wondered how he had gotten there so fast without her seeing him.

"Watanabe, you're late again," Iwata said.

"Mr. Watanabe was just showing our new members to the meeting. Isn't that right, Mr. Watanabe?" Lord Ilpalazzo interrupted.

"Um, yes sir..." Watanabe said, not really knowing who the man with the silver hair was.

Kabapu sat up from his seat and cleared his throat, "IF you three will take your seats, we can start the meeting."

All three of them blushed, and took their seats. Watanabe took his seat next to Misaki, and Hyatt took a seat next to him. That left Excel with the only empty seat, that was right next to Lord Ilpalazzo.

With a sour look on her face, Excel slumped down into her chair.

Kabapu smiled and began his meeting. "Before we start, I would like to introduce to you the new Manager, Mr. Lee Ilpala, and our new members, Ms. Hyatt Ayasugi, and Ms. Excel..."

"Just Excel," Excel replied.

Lord Ilpalazzo shot her a look that clearly told her to act more politely before she blew the mission, but Excel just turned her head the other way and nonchalantly ignored him.

"..Er, Ms. Excel. Now, on to business."

- - -

A/N: I am so, so, so incredibly sorry that it took so long to update. I was going to update sooner, really I was, but then NaNoWriMo snuck up on me. Then I spent the rest of December trying to edit up my NaNo story (I went from 50,000 words to 35,000 words in less than two hours.) Just know that I will finish this fic, even if it kills me! There are not enough Excel fics out there, which is why I decided to write this.

I want to thank everyone for all of the reviews, they were great. Every time I got one, it pushed me to write a little bit more of this story. Hopefully you'll enjoy chapter four.

p.s. If you have any suggestions on what should happen next, It would be much appreciated. Hopefully the next chapter will be a little bit longer.


	5. Surprising turn of Events

**Disclaimer**: Blah blah blah I don't own Excel Saga.

**Chapter Five: **Surprising turn of Events

Excel yawned in obvious boredom as the meeting drawled on. Really, if she had wanted a desk job, she would have gone to work for some corporate company. If she had done that, maybe she wouldn't be having such financial difficulties.

The meeting went as any meeting would. They talked about normal business thingys, and meeting like thingys, and Excel practically slept through all the thingys.

Lord Ilpalazzo was not pleased with her, leading him to reprimand her for ''unprofessional behavior.''

By the time the meeting was over, Lord Ilpalazzo yanked Excel up by the arm and practically dragged her all the way to his office, with Excel following him down the hall, three steps behind like a delinquent kid on her way to the principals office. Lord Ilpalazzo ignored her angry protest and gripped onto her wrist harder. Once they made it back to the office, Lord Ilpalazzo threw open the door and shoved her inside, closing the door quietly behind.

Not knowing what to do, Excel stood frozen in front of Ilpalazzo. As he brushed past her to sit at his desk, she involuntarily pushed herself further into the bookshelf she was leaning against, as if to get further away from him. When he was angry, he was scary.

"As I sit here and talk to you in a relatively calm voice," he said, "I want you to know that I am mentally picturing myself pulling that rope back at HQ and watching you fall into the water pit."

Excel nervously swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. Nope, he wasn't happy at all.

"What do you think you are doing?" He growled at her.

Excel glanced to her left and then her right, and then turned back to face Lord Ilpalazzo.

"Me?" She asked.

"YES You. Excel, I will not have you jeopardizing this mission."

Excel snorted. "Why is this mission so important? Come on, we all know ACROSS will never concur the city—"

Lord Ilpalazzo slammed his hands down on his desk. At this point he shouldn't be too surprised by strange and unprofessional behavior from her, but he still was at times. "Excel, with this being your last mission, maybe you should try harder."

"Since this is my last mission, LORD Ilpalazzo, maybe you should start searching for a new recruit. What about Misaki? I hear she has quite punch."

"Why are you being difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult!"

"Yes, you are."

"AM NOT!" She yelled, as she rose to her feet and went to the door.

"Excel, stop acting like a depressed child."

Excel stopped and slowly turned around, gaping at him. _How dare he! _She walked up to him and jabbed her finger into his chest, "I despise you," she hissed.

Lord Ilpalazzo had no idea why, but at that very moment his body felt compelled to roughly grab Excel and crush his lips to hers. Honestly, his body was moving of it's own accord, but he couldn't deny that he did enjoy it.

Excel, too, was surprised at the turn of events. Ilpalazzo's kiss was hard. There was nothing gentle or romantic about it. It was full of pent-up aggression and anger… mixed with a fiery passion that was absolutely searing and wonderfully overwhelming.

She was also surprised that she was kissing him back. She thought about punching him in the stomach or kneeing him in the groin, but when she looked up she was surprised by the look in his golden eyes. They were burning with such intensity that it left her nearly breathless.

The shock of the kiss sent flames racing along every nerve in Excel's body. Opening her mouth, she rewarded him with full access, twining her fingers into his hair to pull him even closer.

Excel would have loved to continue their...activities, but the door flew open yet again and they separated from each other quickly. Excel's hand flew to her mouth, and she refused to meet Lord Ilpalazzo's gaze.

Iwata looked between the two. "Did I interrupt something?"

Lord Ilpalazzo straightened his tie and looked at the young man. "No, I was just explaining the details of our new assignment with Ms. Excel," he said ans he stared at Excel, whose gaze was fixed on the floor. Lord Ilpalazzo turned back to Iwata and frowned. "Did you need something?"

"Er, Here are the papers you requested," Iwata said while sitting the papers on Lord Ilpalazzo's desk.

As Iwata began filling him in on the forms he had requested, Excel sneakily slipped further and further towards the door. She was just three steps away from her getaway when Lord Ilpalazzo called her down.

"Ms. Excel, I don't want you acting as you did today ever again. Do I make myself clear?" he called out to her without taking his eyes off of Iwata.

Excel swallowed nervously, then looked her boss straight in the eyes. What was he talking about? Acting rude in the meeting, or acting like a love sick puppy and letting him molest her in his office? She assumed he meant the first.

"Yes, I understand that, Sir." she mumbled in an embarrassed voice.

Lord Ilpalazzo sighed as she quietly left. Something told him that things would probably get nasty from this point on.

- - -

A/N: ZOMG! Did I just update within a month of posting the last chapter? I think I did! I feel so proud of myself. Hee hee, I made them kiss. Why did I make them kiss? Because I can. I have powers like that. Also, I really thought it was about time. Everybody loves the "I'm so angry at you right now, let's have sex please" kiss.

Review. Reviews make me happy. No reviews make me unhappy. When I am unhappy, I don't update to add to your misery. (Though most of the time I don't update because I have nothing to update with.)


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